Happy Tuesday!
As those of you who follow me on Twitter might be aware, I’m expecting. Hopefully a human infant, unless I’m unknowingly part of some Extant style conspiracy. I had grand visions of finishing my novel’s first draft and sending it off to an editor, and while the editor slaved away at editing, I’d be sleep-training my infant and posting cute pictures on social media, with pithy captions about how parenting is infinitely fulfilling.
TL;DR: Things don’t go as planned, because they rarely do when new characters are introduced. I’ll only be updating this Substack intermittently over the next few months, as I get used to this new and updated life. Read on for the long-drawn-out explanation.
Which could still well be possible, but the number of little things that drag me away from sitting at a desk have racked up impossibly over the last month. Sometimes, it’s having to just take longer walks to be in better health. Sometimes, it’s having to lie down and do nothing for a while. Sometimes it’s literally just not being allowed to sit for more than 30 minutes at a stretch because it weakens my back. On occasion, it’s having to rush to the doctor. And increasingly, tidying up to make room for a new roommate.
Anyway. My desk time is precious and limited, and right now, I’d rather use it for my regular job.
Which means I’m putting my novel on hold. I don’t know when I’ll pick it back up. But I do know I can do without the stress of having to write now along with everything else that’s going on.
But at the same time, I really love sharing my work on here, and I love compiling eclectic lists of links for you every Monday. And I love researching my novel. And heck, as much as it kills me, I love writing my novel.
I guess I could well be continuing what I’m doing, but I just want to take the pressure off myself to have to do so. I’d rather write my novel feeling “Hey, I have an hour now, how about I write my novel?!” instead of “Oh my Ganesha, I haven’t written anything today, but I have this other more pressing thing now!” going through my mind all day everyday.
Plus, I really need the mental freedom to just unabashedly concentrate on one important thing at a time right now, because this time, the deadline is real.
Productivity has been confusing for me in this time. At one level, I’ve been filled with joy and enthusiasm to do my best work, and been buoyed by not having a commute anymore or be encumbered by social interactions. At another level, I’ve been curled up in bed with a tin of sour candy, darkly cursing my half-eaten lunch which I had enthusiastically plated just ten minutes ago.
So maybe you’ll hear from me in a week. Or at a random time next month. Or maybe it’ll be radio silence for the next four months. While I know the distant future is going to be fine, with us evolving Covid-resistant children, my time usage in my immediate future is much less clear, and my priorities are subject to change.
The optimist in me thinks I’ll be back refreshed with better ideas. The pragmatist in me thinks execution might end up being even more of a bottleneck than before. But both agree it’s all too early to say anything.
See you on the other side!